Four months with Silas...

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
-Elizabeth Stone

Considering the last post I wrote was called "Three months with Silas...", I'm guessing you have a pretty good idea of what we've been up to lately. :)

Believe it or not though, Silas is four months old. It's so crazy to think that he's the same age my nephew was when we saw him at Thanksgiving.

What is Silas up to?
Silas doesn't look like a little newborn anymore. Sometimes I even see glimpses of what he'll look like as a little boy. He's solidly in size 3 month clothes, but still fits into some 0-3 months, yet also some 3-6 months. He's built up some good rolls on his arms and his thighs, and his daddy alternates between the nicknames "Pudgeball" and "Plumpkin."

This month he has gotten really good at holding his neck up; he really enjoys to "sit" and "stand" like a big boy, with help of course. He often clasps his hands together which looks so deliberate and poised that it makes me laugh. And, after several days of almost, Silas is now turning over from his back to his tummy almost as soon as you lay him down. In the mornings, we find him rolled over with his bottom in the air. He can't always figure out how to roll back though, and when he gets tired of holding his head up, he just buries it in the floor. However, I know that the days are numbered when I can lay him on the floor and he stays there. See evidence below: 3... 2... 1.

Each time Silas sleeps through the night feels like a miraculous gift! For most of the month, Silas was on a pretty consistent schedule of waking once in the night (usually between 3:00 and 4:00 am) to nurse. Most recently though, he seems to have hit the 4-month sleep regression, waking also at 12:30 am. We're hoping to nip this little bad habit in the bud by encouraging him to put himself back to sleep.

Silas gets easily distracted while nursing these days, especially if Daddy is around. His wide eyes, little smile, and cute expressions as he looks around are some of my favorites though. To help him focus, he often grabs a hold of the edge of my bra or my necklace and pumps his fist up and down. Those little fingers... so sweet!!

From Mama's perspective...
I'm back in the work routine, which means a lot of pumping milk at work. Pumping at work sucks... literally and figuratively. But it's one way that I can be present with Silas when I can't physically be with him during the day. My office-mate is kind and swears she doesn't mind the noise, but three times a day my "Pump Mama, pump" alarm goes off, I hang my curtain between our cubicles, and the chug-a-chug-a-chug-a begins.

Wednesday mornings are hard. I don't know what it is about Wednesdays in particular. Maybe because it's the halfway point of the week, I am completely overwhelmed by the number of things left on my to do list, and yet can't see how they'll possibly get done by the end of the week either. It also seems to be the morning when Silas goes through three outfits before we even leave the house. Then of course we're running late. I feel so guilty for getting so frustrated with Silas when he's just being a baby, doing baby things. Needless to say, many a tear has been shed on Wednesday mornings lately (and maybe one sobbing phone call to my mom, crying that I didn't want to go to work... thanks for talking me down, Mama!).

But, the thing that I'm most proud of and excited about is the daily centering prayer ritual that I've started with Silas. No matter how crazy the morning was, when we arrive at the daycare parking lot, I climb in the backseat and grab a hold of Silas' little hands. I say a prayer over him, asking that he be surrounded by grace, peace, and love throughout the day. These few minutes to soak him in before we go our separate ways for the day fill my soul until we're reunited in the evening.

A few of Silas' favorites... 

1. IKEA ÖMTÅLIG bibs Oh the drool! Oh the spit up! Sometimes it's just easier to keep him in a bib all day long. I love these bibs from IKEA... they're cheap, and they're absorbent. I especially love that they're small enough to accessorize his outfit rather than completely cover his body.
2. Fisher-Price Easy Stack 'n Sounds Blocks These are Silas' favorite toys right now. He's just getting good at grabbing toys, and the holes in these blocks make them easy to hold. We were concerned at first that he might get his hand stuck between the ball and the block, but that hasn't happened (and none of the Amazon reviews mention this). Curiously the Amazon reviews mention that it's a negative that the balls can't be removed, but that hasn't been an issue for us.
3. Arden All in One Nursing and Handsfree Pumping Bra : If I'm going to be pumping at work for months upon months (which is my goal), I decided to treat myself to a pumping bra that both looks pretty and functions better than anything else I've seen. Although pricier than I usually spend on stuff like this, I have been more than pleased. It's truly hands-free, but I can wear it all day long.
4. Medela Pump in Style Advanced : This is the workhorse of my life right now! Although I hate washing and gathering all of the parts each day, I've only left a piece behind once. My insurance paid for the pump itself (no special bag like the retail product), but I just carry it back and forth in a totebag, which is more my style anyway. I'm thinking a Mama Says post about pumping may be coming in the future... so be on the lookout!
5. SleepSack Swaddle : Silas has been breaking the swaddle for awhile now, but I think that he still likes to be wrap up tightly. The SleepSack Swaddle has been perfect. We swaddle him up with his arms out, and then keep our fingers crossed that he sleeps through the night!
6. B-Safe 35: I mentioned this one in passing last month when I listed the stroller as a fave. But, our infant car seat has sure gotten a workout this month. We held our breath hoping that the new model would be released before Baby B was born, and we're glad we waited. We have no doubt that he's safe back there!